Everyone has good days and difficult ones. We know what it feels like to be frustrated or upset, and we can learn to notice when someone else may need a moment or a chance to explain what’s happening. We can respond with respect even when a conversation is tense.
Emotional intelligence involves noticing and understanding our own emotions, considering what others may be feeling and choosing how to respond. These skills can help us build positive working relationships and handle difficult conversations.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters at Work
A deadline changes, a colleague challenges a decision or two people leave a meeting with different expectations. In any of these situations, noticing your first reaction can give you time to choose a response that helps the conversation move forward.
Listening and asking questions can also help you understand why someone sees the situation differently. For example, a colleague who sounds frustrated about a new deadline may be worried about the work they’ve already promised to another team. Understanding that concern gives you something specific to discuss.
Emotional intelligence also matters when you lead or influence others. The way you respond under pressure can affect whether people feel comfortable raising concerns, asking for help or sharing information you need.
Developing Emotional Intelligence in Administrative and Executive Support
Administrative professionals, executive assistants and personal assistants often work with people whose priorities and expectations differ. You can develop emotional intelligence by practicing four habits in everyday conversations.
Notice your own emotions. Pay attention to when you feel frustrated, pleased or under pressure. Ask yourself what prompted the feeling and how it might affect your response. If you feel rushed, a brief pause before replying may help you ask a clearer question.
Listen to understand. Give the person time to explain their point of view. If something is unclear, ask a follow-up question or briefly summarize what you heard so they can confirm it.
Check your first interpretation. If someone’s words or actions irritate you, consider what they might have intended. A short reply may feel dismissive, for example, when the person is simply pressed for time. Ask for clarification if it matters to the work or the relationship.
Pay attention to nonverbal communication. Tone of voice, facial expressions and body language can offer clues, and their meaning can vary by person, situation and culture. Notice the signals you send as well. If you’re unsure how someone feels or what they mean, ask respectfully.
Choose one habit to practice this week. In your next difficult conversation, notice your reaction, give the other person time to explain and check your understanding before you respond.
For more on listening and checking understanding, read A Structure for Effective Communication.
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